It takes two
by PetiteDeviante
Summary: From best friends to ...?


**A/N: My two best friends (who are actual characters in the story) encouraged me to write this as more of a form of therapy, most of the story is based on real life. I can't believe anyone will be actually interested,but here goes nothing. I'd gladly take any constructive criticism. I hope you enjoy.**

"I don't believe in love, I believe in fucking. It's honest… it's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit.- said Brian Kinney . Oh how I wish I was more like him. Minus the gay and the fictional, you know" - I let out a sigh as my best friend shamelessly laughs at my brainfart. I give him the death-glare then take away the plate of cookies and proclaim victory over them .

"Mine! " – because I'm so mature…

"You know, you should get out more, you're becoming a premature cat-lady" says -peed-on-my-pants -

"I said premature again" -he laughs under his breath

"I know but I'm just one of THOSE people who enjoy being home, preferably alone. I'm just not good at the whole social interactions stuff and such" – I say stuffing my mouth with a cookie like a hamster . It sounds all antisocial but it's true, I like hanging out with friends and going out once in a while as much as the next person but I'm happiest here, on my bed with this strange man-boy who is permanently correcting my grammar and trying to convince me to watch StarTrek. Ok that sounds wrong, but he is my best friend -or so he says – eye roll- and I do save my last bite of food for him whenever we eat together – hey ,if that doesn't mean anything, I don't know what does!

After many-a arguments pro StarTrek I agree to watch it ,settling on the bed (in this pathetic excuse for an igloo that is my room) huddled up in my pink fluffy robe.

I wake up to bear-ish snoring, oh great , I'm late for work and Julian sleep-robbed me of my blanket. I grab the first thing I see in my closet and start putting the clothes on. Leather pants ,white shirt and a black blazer, there's nothing more appropriate for working in a funeral home than leather slacks. I look in the mirror winking at myself , then immediately laugh it off. Grabbing my leather jacket I head for the door as a very sleepy Julian appears in the hallway scratching his belly :

"God, a fake cow had to die for your fake leather outfit , have you looked in the mirror?"

"Fuck you too, Broesly!" –I say slamming the door, vigorously searching for my car keys in the jacket pockets (since I have this huge and terribly ugly keychain it doesn't take long). Although I am in a hurry I take a moment to mentally curse myself for the awful parking job.

Traffic is bad as I nervously glance at my phone ,waiting for my boss to call and yell at me for being late again, ugh well, my dog ate my homework! Wait, no, wrong excuse. I arrive at work where thankfully Victor sees me coming and opens the gates for me.

"Morning' Vic, Thanks!" - I shout running towards the office and YES, no one's there yet. I relax slumping in my chair. Felix, the waiter from the restaurant ,that my boss also owns, brings me coffee , I have to say it's a pretty nice sight, if ya' know what I mean.

"Good morning, double milk one sugar, just how you like it." – he hands me my mug

"Morning' , you're a God sent gift you know, I need caffeine so bad!" – I take a big gulp of the sweet nectar of gods while keeping eye contact . He has such a pretty face, too bad he's so short …I start up the computer witch is probably older then I am, and log into facebook sipping on my coffee. I scroll down , I see a picture of Noah hugging his new girlfriend. I spit coffee all over the monitor… what the actual fuck? It's been what? 5 minutes since we broke up and he's already openly dating ? I desperately scramble for my phone and call Julian, because what's a girl got left to do? He answers.

"Miss me already?"

"Bastard, mole, dating" – it seems I can't even form coherent sentences.

"Breath" – he reminds me

"Noah - new girlfriend – on facebook" – ok, we're getting there, at least this time was grammatically correct

"Ok, why are you over reacting ? For fuck's sake, you broke up with him!" – of all times, this is when he has to be right

"But , but … " - I try thinking of a counter-argument and I can't seem to find one " She has a huge mole on her face" – yes because that's so important

"Eww, you know how I feel about moles" – I can hear the mock disgust in his voice

I'm not in the mood for mockery so I hang up when my mom bursts in the door like a storm.

"I've called you 10 times, why didn't you answer, I thought you were dead!" – assertive, as usual

"Good morning to you too, mom" – I say rolling my eyes

"Don't roll your eyes on me Monika " – oh, you know you're in trouble when they use your actual name , I'm 21 and still afraid of my mother, great…

"Sorry , you just over-react so quickly" – I remember how Julian was saying I was over-reacting on the phone, well we know where I got that from  
" I was on the phone"

"Great, great . How's it going with that nice boy ,Noah , or what was his name?"

Ok, it's official, I hate my life. Good timing on my mothers part.

"No more Noah – EVER- we shall never mention his name"

"I'm so sorry dear" – she goes for a hug and I just awkwardly sit there . I'm not a big fan of physical contact , unless it's my mommy or Julian and his rib-cage-crushing-bear-hugs. I just don't like my aura touched by random people, a psychic said once , I have no idea what that means…

Mom leaves to tend to her flower shop and I am left to deal with the now drying coffee on the monitor. Try explaining that to the tech guy , I giggle, Julian is our off-the-record tech guy since I'm technologically challenged. My day goes by like any other, filling out papers and revising death certificates, the occasional sexual advances from Victor , ordering coffins – welcome to the wonderful business that is funeral homes.

After I finish, at about 4pm I make a stop at my mothers house and raid the fridge, cheesy rolled pancakes YES PLEASE, I take the whole casserole and head the house I see a sock on Julians door knob, oh great, goodbye appetite. Wonder if it's the S&M chick or maybe the crazy one. Then I remember it's non of my business. Thank god for microwaves ,I pop the dish in it and wait for it to heat up and be all oey-goey goodness. Standing there, waiting I remember how we spent half an hour on new years ever discussing how microwaves work , DORKS! The bell rings ,dinner is served.I can hear the door closing in the hallway and my roomie comes in the kitchen .

"Dinner?" – I ask

"As long as it's not gulyas , fuck yeah!"-we both laugh because it's kind of an inside joke

We sit at the kitchen table and eat when the doorbell rings

"Maybe it's your 'friend" – I motion to the door

"Nah , I made sure she'll be sore for days and she's not into cuddling afterwards"-he has the biggest grin I have ever seen on his face.

I stand up and head to the door, opening it. When I see who it is my heart fills with joy and I hug the person standing in front of me.

"Renata! My favorite lesbian!" – I place a sloppy kiss on her cheek

"I just got back from London, thought I'll stop by!"

Julian appears behind me and as soon as he realizes who it is , he just can't stop himself:

"Oh,Ren! How you doin' ?" – will he ever accept she's gay?

**A/N: Thanks for reading and don't forget to review ,it will be much appreciated. Also if you'd like to read more tell me,if no one wants to read it i won't be posting anymore.**


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